Class and Sass

What Do You Want From Me?!

In Uncategorized on January 6, 2011 at 2:06 pm

While this post is a diversion to the normal posts on Sasi Living, I think it’s a super important topic and one  that has been causing me great stress and confusion lately. Whether it’s in work, relationships, friendships, family or hobbies, feedback is vital to your success. However, feedback can also be extremely detrimental to your relationships, especially when there isn’t any feedback at all.

The importance of feedback didn’t really hit my radar until recently, in both my professional and personal life. It seriously felt like the two worlds were falling apart simultaneously, and I was just constantly asking the same thing “What do you want from me?!” The million dollar question, I guess. Come to find out, in my professional life, there are several evaluations happening, none of which I have heard about or seen the feedback from. Most troubling is that I was apparently evaluated on my “areas of improvement” but I’m not even sure what the evaluator thinks those areas are. Hmmm…

One other area that has always perplexed me, mostly in my professional life, is the lack of a two-way evaluation. Sure, I understand that being closer to the bottom of the totem pole I have to undergo evaluations, but what about my boss? How come no one is asking me how I feel about their performance? This seems like a very important part of their job, managing others, so how come no one is looking at it objectively? I find it hard to believe that someone’s performance as a manager can be fairly evaluated when no one is talking to the people they manage. **To clarify, I have had several different bosses, none of which I was ever asked to evaluate, at my current job or past jobs. After speaking with friends and family, I realize it’s a common practice not to evaluate your boss, but I’m not sure that makes it right.

I think it mostly comes down to this: feedback is touchy. It’s difficult to be constructive and timely with feedback. Often times an annual evaluation is too late to address a problem, but people feel like they need to wait for a formal “feedback” appointment. Instead, I think the power of feedback is in the ability to make any time the right time to discuss an issue. There is never a bad time to pay someone a compliment, and the time is always right to make a change.

I also think there are so many outside contributors to a productive feedback session, making the actual task itself challenging. That being said, I think that feedback is the cornerstone to a healthy and productive relationship. Especially in your personal life, it’s difficult to tell your partner constructively they aren’t meeting expectations. Try to think outside the box and realize that men and women are inherently different. Find out what motivates them and use that to your advantage, always let them down easy, and seriously ladies–quit nagging!

So, while the issues in my personal life have been resolved, thanks to a quick convo,  my professional life is still begging the question “what do you want from me?!” But, even if that question had been answered, it would only be a matter of time before I was singing the same song again, in both arenas. Feedback is a circle that we must first enter, and then keep ourselves inside to reach our full potential.

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